It’s unfair to write a column right away on how the Buffalo Bills drafted this year. That’s too bad, then. We really shouldn’t even discuss a draft’s results for about three years, with an extra one tacked on in this case.
But I just know the Kansas City Chiefs handed over the next ‘Hall of Famer’, so there’s no reason to wait. And I’m far too impatient to go that long without running my mouth. The same goes for seeing how the next general manager performs, although it’s fine to be instantly happy with a termination.
The draft grade will be even more incomplete than usual, and not just because we had to wait longer to learn. A patient trade exploiting a team that was frenzied with quarterback fever was most notable for throwing off my dinner schedule. I timed the Trader Joe’s mac and cheese to finish for the 10th pick, dangit. You don’t have to express sympathy for my oven escapades, although it would be nice. But the return on investment was worth it if the stockpile for waiting their turn fortifies them.
Waiting to make their fist selection was just the start. The Bills kept changing their club after the seventh round. A personnel move the day after the draft was merely a confirmation. The complete slogan is (Fire every)One (in) Buffalo. Like The Simpsons remaining on air even though fans have bailed, Doug Whaley had become general manager in title only.
Wish for this draft to turn out better than those where Whaley actually made choices. Even poor general managers can usually brag of a few successes, although some for the Bills have tested that. But his overall history wasn’t good enough, as reflected in the team’s sadly consistent record.
Keeping an underachiever is the only thing worse than paying someone not to work. The Pegulas’ newest hobby is ditching front office heads who don’t trade shrewdly enough. I smell a sitcom for the jobless. Can a messy fired football general manager live with a clean fired hockey general manager without driving each other bonkers?
Thanks to whichever non-Whaley worker made the trade for Tre’Davious White. Don’t mind me as cross out everything I wrote warning of dire consequences if they dared disagree with me and went with a cornerback first. It’s fine to still think philosophically they should’ve addressed other positions first while knowing they needed to enhance the position.
After exercising my constitutional right to moan about whoever they picked, I can move on to learning his countless virtues. They added a young man with the right attitude, as White’s already a local. Anyone who starts his introductory video with “Bills Mafia” and enjoyed a trip to Tim Hortons is cool with me.
Someone who may have been a third-rounder last year made it worth a higher pick. White decided to stay in school and is rightfully proud of graduating. He learned the most important lesson college provides, namely how to get by after leaving campus. A full four years made him more valuable on the job market. The chance to show he’s the Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson of returners shows an education’s benefits.
The decision to trade down comes with a downside when other clubs ruin everything by selecting players our team might want. At least the Bills can’t be disappointed by another Mike Williams if a different team drafts him first. Zay Jones could be quite a consolation prize, as the man who is the best in FBS history by quantity has shown a promising skill set and mentality in respective videos.
The new first choice kept fans on their toes. A trade is thrilling no matter what. However, as with replacing Whaley or Rex Ryan, true excitement comes if then hiring the right person.
Dropping to 27th is bold in the opposite way. Giving up a top 10 pick with next year in mind is a sign McDermott has singlehandedly replaced two former employees who live in the moment. Like the real Sabres boss Jack Eichel, he doesn’t mind doing two jobs.
The new coach and de facto general manager showed his dedication to depth. The franchise pulled off the sort of trade where both teams get something they treasure. Let some team in Missouri add a quarterback if they think it’ll change their fortunes. Perhaps the price was worth it, and I don’t care.
All I know is my team addressed its lack of resources by preying upon a buyer. Now, we hate their team. It’s nothing personal, but Bills fans will cheer for the Chiefs to lose 15 games after they crush the Patriots in the league’s opener.
A second first-rounder next year means we can overcome sadness at one draft’s end by speculating about the next. Get those 2018 previews started. It’s never too early to think ahead. Anyone who thinks predicting what will happen in a year is a silly waste of time just doesn’t get football.
A nice gift they gave themselves to redeem in the future is like Bill and Ted telling their past incarnations to duck. This excellent adventure won’t end with military school if they can learn from what’s failed to work. The lesson of the Wyld Stallyns is that nothing is certain despite bad signs, whether flunking high school or missing the playoffs. Someone’s finally thinking beyond today.
Editor’s babble: Thanks to Anthony Bialy for his contributions to our blog. You can follow Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.